The perfect you?

Imagine your perfect self. The very best version of you. What do you think that looks like and how would you start to become that person?

According to most people today, the answer is simple: look within your heart.¹ You find your deepest desires and let them define who you are and shape the way you live. In other words, you “be true to yourself” — one of the greatest mantras of our age and the theme of pretty much every Disney film ever made.

But, here’s the challenging thing for us. Jesus calls us to do the exact opposite:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:34-35)

So, how do we truly become the people God created us to be?

Paul gives us the answer in Colossians 3. It’s not by looking within yourself but by looking up to Jesus. By seeing your identity in him and following him with your life.

1. Remember who you are in Christ

One of our greatest dangers as Christians is spiritual amnesia: forgetting who we are in Christ. So, Paul reminds us exactly who we are in him: past, present, and future.

When a plane takes off, the lives of the passengers are suddenly united to the pilot’s. If the pilot crashes and dies, so do the passengers. If the pilot lands safely, so do the passengers. In the same way, when we trust in Jesus, our life is spiritually bound to his:

• Past: 2000 years ago, when Jesus died on the cross, we died with him there and then to our sin. When he rose from the grave, we were raised with him there and then to new life. (3:1, 3)
• Present: “Christ is your life.” He isn’t just someone who gives us life. He is our life. (3:3-4)
• Future: One day, when Jesus appears, we will appear with him in glory. What’s hidden now will be gloriously revealed to the world. (3:4)

2. Reset your hearts and minds on Christ

Though we’re spiritually raised to be with Jesus in heaven, we still live on earth. That creates a tension for us: where are our hearts and minds truly at home?

Paul says: set your hearts and minds on things above, not on earthly things. (3:1-2) We are called to reset our focus, to look away from whatever earthly things threaten to capture our hearts and minds, and look instead toward Jesus. It’s like using two muscles at once: repentance and faith. As we turn from worshipping the things of this world (in repentance), we turn to Jesus (in faith). Like muscle-memory, the more we do that, the easier it gets to keep doing it, as Jesus’ grace becomes more and more beautiful to us, and our sin becomes more and more dull in its light.

3. Be renewed in the likeness of Christ

Do you see Paul’s logic across these verses? We’re not called to change our external behaviour first. It has to start from the inside-out, with us remembering who we are in Jesus and us resetting our minds and hearts on him. Only then, can we truly transform our outward behaviour. 

Nevertheless, this transformation doesn’t happen instantly. See what Paul writes: we are ‘being renewed’ in Jesus’ likeness (3:10). It’s a life-long process of progressively becoming like him, as we do two things.

Firstly, we’re called to take off the old self (3:5-9). In fact, Paul’s says to ‘put it to death’ (3:5): all the unrestrained, loveless and self-centred behaviour that flows from our sinful hearts and angers the creator who made us. This is a snap shot of what it looks like to be true to ourselves and it’s not a pretty picture.

Secondly, we’re called to put on the new self (3:10-14). Just like Jesus left behind his grave clothes as he left the tomb, we’re to leave behind all our old sinful ‘clothing’, putting on a new spiritual wardrobe in it place. Like we might layer up on a cold, winter’s day, we’re to clothe ourselves with the layers of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness. On top we’re to put on love, which like a full length coat ties the whole outfit together.

This is how we grow into who we were truly meant to be. In the words of Dallas Willard, this is ‘becoming who Jesus would be, if he were you’. Not becoming less of ourselves. But, actually becoming more our true selves, as we truly reflect the image of our Creator and Saviour, Jesus.

Yours in Christ,
Mark Barry

Assistant Minister
Outreach & Community Connections

21 July 2025

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[1] 91% of people in a recent survey agreed with this statement: “The best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself” (via Trevin Wax’s article: ‘Finding Yourself Is Harder Than You Think’: www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/finding-yourself/)